Wednesday, October 2, 2013

More from the place that rhymes with Nagic Wingdom

We finished up in Orlando today.  So, I'd like to take this opportunity to make a few observations...

According to Wikipedia -
Before European settlers arrived in 1536, Orlando was sparsely populated by the Creek and other Native American tribes. There are very few archaeological sites in the area today, except for the ruins of Fort Gatlin along the shores of modern-day Lake Gatlin south of downtown Orlando.

It was sparsely populated because NO-ONE COULD GET AROUND IN THE TRAFFIC!!!  I know, that actually makes no sense.  Yet, it's perfectly apt because neither does Orlando area traffic.  I get it if there's a traffic jam, in the morning, on the way TO the theme (you may not be aware of this, but there are a few here...) parks.  That makes sense to me.  But when the traffic is bumper-to-bumper, stop-and-go, AWAY from the theme parks in the morning YOU"RE DOING IT WRONG!!!

Which may be explained by this... 

After exhaustive (none, really.  I just like the word exhaustive) research I found Florida to be the only state represented in this manner.  Do you yourself a favor and read through some of those gems.  Now, don't get me wrong, there's some amazingly wonderful people down here.  There truly are.  I'm really looking forward to seeing my guy Mike (from last year's tour) next week.  After all, I owe him his own version of MYPHTD.  But as fellow tour driver and Floridian Jaime is fond of saying "it's where stupid starts."

Another point in Florida's favor?  If I ever lose my mind and end up homeless, I'm walking to Key West and living on the beach there.  I'm sure not staying up north where we have actual winter.  Are you kidding me?  Plus I'd have to sleep in PADS and that wouldn't work for me.  I'd rather stay on the beach and growl at the occasional tourist.  I've seen enough TV shows to where I think I could work up a shtick to raise a little cash for food.  

I've probably put waaay too much thought into that, actually...

Anyway.  Where was I?

Oh yeah, here's another thing.  The mouse needs better plumbing.  I'll spare you the details...

So, we spent the day at a local mall, trucks outside, us inside selling shirts.  I swear it sounded like we were on a launch pad at Cape Canaveral (when did it go back to Canaveral from Kennedy? asking for a friend) it was that loud inside.  I guess they have giant, industrial strength air conditioners to beat the heat and humidity here, I don't know.  But when the noise suddenly stopped 90 minutes or so after we got there, it was kinda of a "what just happened" thing.  

Alright, apparently we're reconvening poolside.  I think I've whined about everything I wanted to whine about here.

For today anyway, lol

Pink Heals!

Peace



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