Baggage

Sometimes around here the words flow from my brain like so many birds through a swarm of bugs, gobbling ideas up left and right without a moments hesitation.

Other times, not so much.  Check that, MOST times not so much.

Ideas come to me fairly often, but typically at a time or place where documenting even a scrap of a thought for later reference is not gonna happen.  Driving down the highway for instance or standing in the shower.  That may not seem like much, but if you know me IRL, you know how easily I get distracted by something sparkly.

This one has bounced around for a few days but I think I have a reasonable handle on how I want to say what I want to say.

So here goes.

I worked yesterday.  Part of the day involved our monthly paramedic training courtesy of our hospital.  It's not an easy task, trying to keep a bunch of Type "A", easily amused, borderline juvenile delinquent, Alpha Males on point, especially when it's a rather mundane part of the job.  I think, without confirming it with anyone, most of the disciplinary actions that take place around any given fire department occur due to relative inactivity.  If we're busy running calls everyone is too preoccupied with "the job" to find much time for shenanigans.  Kind of an "idle hands..." thing, you know?  Our Continuing Education (ConEd) while important, is not the kind of thing that tends to hold our attention for long periods of time, despite the best efforts of any instructor we've ever had in my 24+ years here, regardless of the topic.    So, when I tell you yesterday's training was on Legal Aspects of paramedicine, I challenge you to stifle the yawn involuntarily working it's way through your system right now.

Can't do it, can you?

Now, for clarity, I came to the realization many years ago, the things we love about our job usually involve someone else having a bad day.  Very bad.  Sometimes the worst day they've ever experienced.  And I don't wish misfortune on anyone.

Mostly anyone.

I kid, I kid.

Mostly.

So my days of wishing for calls has gone by the wayside.

However, and this is a big however, I will gladly take any kind of call during paramedic training.  The earlier in and the longer the call the better.  Just sayin.  So yesterday when we were mercifully called out, I was not at all unhappy about it.  Until we got to the call.

Again, for clarity, I'm at a spot where this might go off the rails and I want to be very careful about how I proceed.  I want to get a point or two across, but I don't want to throw stones at anyone.  I may edit this a couple times before it sees the light of day, I may can it altogether, but if you're reading to this point, please bear in mind I'm upset at systems and NOT people.

The call came in for someone with a service dog wanting to go to the semi-local VA hospital.  We'll go there even though we pass several other hospitals along the way, if it's in the best interest of the patient and not a threat to his or her medical fragility.  Once maybe twice a year is all.   Also the service dog part was a first, at least for me and the rest of our crew.

We were met by our patient's supervisor who told us the patient was a vet with significant PTSD issues who was in need of treatment at the VA.  We entered the room and two things jumped out at me.  Our patient was seriously upset.  His movements were exaggerated and animated, he looked disheveled and wild eyed and he was just short of screaming at the top of his lungs.  And his dog was completely stressed out by the whole situation.  At some point in the almost instant assessment we have to make we need to determine if a roomful of strangers is the best approach or if it will cause more harm than good.  We all instinctively backed away, save for one of our crew, also a vet.  But watching through the small side window next to the door we could see the dog was still upset, pacing and panting.  The volume the patient was speaking probably didn't help the dogs demeanor either.  He yelled at the dog a few times, I'm sure due to his own personal stress, and she didn't seem to know how to respond to him.  My Lt. made the decision to enter the room and lead the dog out and, after a few minutes I found her at my feet.  So, I tried to calm her.  I mean on top of the patients situation, an agitated dog would do no one any good since none of us knew her or how she would react.  She wouldn't (and really never did) respond to any commands I gave her but I think that's probably a function of her job as a service dog.  I mean she's probably trained to respond only to her human, otherwise it could get confusing for all parties concerned, right?  At any rate, since she stayed by me I crouched down by her and started talking to her in my best cool, calm and collected voice while stroking her face and back slowly to try and calm her.  It worked fairly well, I think.  She sat or laid at my feet the whole time she was by us.  I noticed her breathing slowed quite a bit (which I took as a good sign) even though it was still faster than normal.  And, when I'd stop petting her, she'd nuzzle back into my lap trying to bury her face in my legs.

I need to take a few seconds here and give a shout out to the DG coppers that responded.  I think they may have been in afternoon roll call when this started because they were significantly behind us and that's unusual.  I mean, they're out on the streets while we're in a firehouse, so they almost always get wherever before we do.  We had been on the scene for a few minutes when our dispatch asked if we still needed PD there, the officers were held up by a train passing through town.  The Lt. said no, they could disregard.  It was the right call too, since our patient had calmed quite a bit, even though he was still resistant to go for treatment.  A little while later though, as his voice grew louder and more upset, "Lou" asked dispatch to send a couple coppers to the scene.  Looking through the window he could see the patient was still seated, but the potential for escalation was certainly there.  And, while none of us wants to get into a physical confrontation with any patient, when it comes to the safety of our partners, we sometimes have to deal with a situation in that way.  We drew up a dose of medicine just in case too.  When the PD made it there, they dealt with this scenario about as well as I've seen in my time here.  Very low profile, let our guy deal with the patient, but right outside the door in case stuff went south.  And when our patient finally came out for the transport to the VA, they were supportive to both us and the patient.  One of them took the service dog while the other trailed our procession just in case.

I'm not going to write about the demons our patient talked about.  But hearing it made me terribly sad.  It's not a new phenomenon, going to war.  Humans have been doing it since the dawn of time.  We've gotten so good at war and yet, we as humans, still suck at dealing with the emotional aftermath.  Why is that?

That's rhetorical btw.  No need to answer.

Our ambulance crew made it to the VA without incident.  About the best outcome any of us could have hoped for.

PTSD is a real thing.  It's an insidious, vile disease that robs people of any semblance of normal functionality.  It can cause them to do things they normally wouldn't dream of doing.

To total strangers, to themselves, to loved ones.

And it's not specific to the military either.  Cases involving Police and Fire are happening in numbers very similar to the Armed Services.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in my own awkward way, is to be aware of your fellow human beings. Offer a kind word, not only to those you know, but to total strangers.  No one truly knows what's going on inside the brain of someone else until you make the effort to find out.  Be less quick to judge.  Be quicker to support and encourage.  If you can help someone, please do.  If you know someone that may be dealing with PTSD or any other emotional "disorder" please encourage them to seek some type of supportive care.  If you're the one dealing with various demons, please remember you're not alone.  Seek out help, in whatever non-destructive way you feel comfortable and keep trying till you find the thing that works for you.  Believe it or not, each of us is important to someone, for any number of  reasons.

Peace