A leopard can't change it's spots

I don't know the origin of the phrase I chose for the title.

I don't really care.

And, I recognize that it's been a long time (March 2014 to be exact) since I've been here.  Don't get me wrong, it's not that nothing has happened in my life in the last several months.  I've had plenty to write about, but, for my own reasons, I chose not to.

Until today.  *side note, I may not post this until a day or two from now for reasons that will become clear*

Until noon today.

When I got a phone call.

From a detective from the Palatine Police Department.

To, as a courtesy, give me a heads up.

Before I read it in the paper.

The guy that killed this beautiful face -

got picked up driving drunk.  Again.

I don't know too many details at this point; he was witnessed hitting several parked cars over the weekend, I don't know if he has a drivers license (I don't think he can given his record) I don't know what he'll be charged with (Aggravated DUI, a felony, I think) and I don't know when he'll appear before a judge.  I don't even know if he's still locked up, but he should be.

** update** 

Since I wrote this, I found out some more details. His most recent crash took place in the parking lot of an apartment complex, not on a public roadway. This may have an effect on things but I'm not sure how right now. He was found in the driver's seat, slumped over the wheel, passed out. He failed every field sobriety test but refused a breathalyzer. 

So, at least we know he learned something. 

His bond was set at $75,000 but I don't know if he posted it or not. He's got a court date next month. The kids and I will be there. I don't think I want to crowd the courtroom though. I'm pretty sure this will drag on for several months and my belief is that it'll be more impactful if the judge sees us there EVERY month vs seeing a big crowd once. And I don't expect a bunch of people to take off work for the next several months while this mess plays out. 

Ok, now we're current. 

As I was saying... 

I also don't know what I'm feeling most.

Anger?  Yup, I've got it.  I haven't given this guy a thought for a long while and here he is, with one phone call, right up in the forefront of my consciousness.

Sadness? Got it.  For Caitlin's loss, all the things she missed out on (us too) in her too short life.

Relief?  Done.  I'm so relieved no-one else was hurt by this guy.

Frustration?  Check.  I'm frustrated, almost beyond words, at what the legal system has allowed to happen.  I understand civil rights, I really do.  Heck, I support your right to do almost any stupid thing you want to do.  But I draw the line at endangering innocent people.  Don't you?

I could probably go on, but you get the picture.

So, now, we wait.  We wait for the press release cause I don't want to take a chance on screwing up the case against him in any way.  I don't want some defense attorney to say "your honor there was bias against my client because of a blog post".  Or social media post, tweet, picture, etc.  And we wait while the person that caused such an upheaval in so many lives (even those of his family and loved ones) gets his day in court.
And we wait for justice, a justice that may never come, because, well, that's just the way the world works sometimes.

I'm not sure if this will ever see the light of day.  I'm not completely thrilled with it right now, I'd like to add some pictures and maybe write a little more.  And I'm pretty sure I'm going to wait a day or so to post it.  Maybe talk to the detective again, just to be on the safe side.  And, maybe after sitting on it for a day or so, I'll change my mind about posting it.

But not how I feel about it.

Peace.

Now more than ever.

**update number 2**

I found some of the photos from back then. This one, for instance - 

This was what was left of her car. Take a look at how badly it was deformed on the driver side as a result of the impact. And imagine, for just a brief second, what she thought about as she realized she couldn't avoid the impact. 

Caitlin loved that little car. And in this picture -

she combined two of her favorite things; her car and selfies. Caitlin was taking selfies long before they became the phenomenon they are today. She always had a camera with her. 

She always had a smile with her too. This last picture is from the day her sister graduated from high school - 

Caitlin never got the chance to graduate from high school. She was killed a week before she graduated. And now, the one that killed her has gotten another DUI. 

I don't even know what more to say. 

Peace.

If I keep saying it often enough, maybe I'll feel it...