Thankful? More than I can say

So, I just finished reading an article on Salon.com - "All The Things That Remind Me Of Her" by a fellow named Matt Zoller Seitz. If I was a little more computer savvy, I'd put a link to it here... but do yourself a favor and look it up. His wife died suddenly in April 2006 from a heart attack (sound familiar?) and he wrote an incredibly moving article about their life together and his life since she died. It seemed to me I'd heard of him before, but I have no clue how, why or where that would have happened so...

He spoke of the things that drew them together, the things that allowed their love to grow and flourish and of the things he couldn't bear to face after the love of his life was taken from him by a congenital heart defect that went undiscovered for 35 years. He spoke, eloquently, of how triggers affect a grieving soul -

"A song, a poem, a scene from a film triggers memories. You're startled, moved, shaken. And you're faced with two options: 1) engage with the work and the memories it calls up, or 2) retreat, postpone, avoid."

And what power these triggers have over our lives as we learn to live with our new normal.

There was so much in his article that I could relate to. As could anyone living with the loss of someone close to them. Parent, sibling, child, spouse, partner. The relationship doesn't necessarily equate to the sense of loss and/or grief. Nor should it. You grieve as you grieve. And you mourn as you mourn. As long as it isn't self-destructive, it's OK with me.

There were some similarities between his story and mine. But there was one glaring difference. So far, in his life Matt has found one love. Amazing, no doubt, but one.

I've been blessed with two.

I loved the Blond Child's Mother as I've said many times, here and in RL. Was our relationship perfect? Hardly.

Were there things I wish had been done differently? Without question, yes.

But did we love each other? Yes we did. Very much. Through the lows we experienced in our lives together we also experienced many highs. And all served to cement our lives together into a strong bond.

And while at some point I'd hoped I might be able to meet someone else to share the rest of my time with, I had no expectations to do so. I surely never felt I was entitled to anything like that.

And then, I met The Pirate. And, I came to understand how it was possible to have more than one great love in your life. And I came to understand what it's like to be in a relationship with my best friend. And once again, I remind myself of how many things I have that make me, truly, Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.