This is where it starts

Hey here goes nothin... OK, the title refers to the fact that so many well meaning people over the last few years have said to me "Oh you're so strong, how do you keep it together? I could never do that. If I lost someone I loved, I'd just be a basket case" My reply depends on a) the mood I'm in at the time and b) if I think they're truly sincere and not just dense. If they appear to be clueless I'll give them some lame, off-hand answer like "well you just do what you have to do".

If they just do a poor job of getting their point across, but genuinely mean well I'll reply that I'm like a duck swimming across a river. Cool, calm and collected on the surface, but paddling like hell underneath.

So here's the start of my story. Six years ago, my step-daughter was killed by a drunk driver. She was 17. It was a week before her high school graduation. Three weeks before her 18th birthday. She was on her way home from the mall, where she had bought a new outfit for her senior class trip, a cruise on Lake Michigan, the next day.

The drunk that killed her had two previous DUI's. He never should have been on the road, that night or any other. The Blonde Child never had a chance. She died from her injuries two days after the crash. Here's a side note for you. When drugs or alcohol are involved, it's never referred to as an accident. It's a crash. An accident is "oops, I dropped my plate of food on the floor, silly me" It's a crash.

Needless to say, my wife was devastated by the loss of the Blonde Child. She was her youngest and the only one of our four kids that still lived at home. They did everything together. Shopped together. Went to the health club together. Went tanning together. Shopped together. They were as close as any Mother and daughter I've ever known. Did I mention they loved to go shopping together? I speak in the past tense because a little over three years after the Blonde Child was killed my wife had a brief episode of chest pain. We went to the local ER and, long story short, she was scheduled for bypass surgery three days later. She never really made it off the table. Had a massive heart attack and died. My belief is that she never got over the loss of the Blonde Child. More on all that later.

So yeah, I've had a little bit of stuff to deal with over the last few years. And believe me, I've screwed up my fair share of "life moments" since then. Hey I'll never promise anyone I know the answers. But I've certainly experienced enough questions to maybe lay some groundwork for someone else. I may come across as irreverent from time-to-time. I mean harm to no-one (although I do have pretty strong feelings about the a##hole that killed the Blonde Child) but have found that, for me, a little sarcasm and as much laughter as I can scrounge up helps to soften the blow. I also try to maintain a sense of humor, because sometimes you just have to laugh. I mean c'mon folks, no-one would believe this shit if it wasn't true. And everything I tell you here will be that.