Sophie and I just got back from our morning walk, and with Townes Van Zandt as a back drop (highly recommended for a little light Sunday morning listening btw) I've been reflecting on today. Social media and recollection tells me this is the first Mothers Day for several of my friends without their Moms.
It won't be an easy day for you if this is the case, please know my thoughts are with you.
So naturally I think today (pretty much every day, really, but you get the picture) of my own Mom, gone for five of these, and Diane, gone for eleven of them, and I think of how fortunate I am. To have had them both as such important parts of my life and to have learned so much from them, about life in general and myself in particular.
Diane taught me so many things, among them (a lesson I need to improve on) the importance of making a big deal out of someone on "their" day as this story illustrates.
From Mom I learned how to quickly get over it. I can be pretty quick tempered sometimes (no comments from the gallery) but I tend to also quickly realize the futility of keeping that flame stoked. She also taught me how important it is to be able to laugh at oneself. That alone is probably the best thing she did for me.
I also think of my daughters and the amazing women they are. To the Oldest One and the Quiet Child; you are doing an incredible job raising smart, funny, sweet, hard-working kids and I couldn't be prouder of who they are becoming. And, to #PhoJoMama; in addition to the above, you're faced with the added task of wrangling the Boy Child.
A.) I know how far from the tree that apple landed.
B.) I'm sorry.
I'm really glad I got to see the three of you yesterday, I hope your Day is filled with wonderfulness because each of you deserves nothing less and I love you all.
Now on to the Public Service Annoouncement portion of our program.
For all you first-time Dads observing your first Mothers Day. I recognize this may be a tad late in the game but just in case (or for future reference) make sure you review your plan for the day. Do what she wants and not what you think she wants. There's a difference, believe me. It's the least you can do.
Btw don't ever say "it was the least I could do" when she thanks you. Just sayin. This woman bore your kids for chrissake. Do something special for her, especially today.
Also, unless you're in different Zip Codes (and probably not even then) don't ever say "she's not my Mother" as a reply to almost anything related to today. If you do, well, I don't think celebrate means *skypoint to Inigo Montoya* what you think it means.
If your significant other has any type of adjective in front of "Mom" disregard it. Please. For your own sake as well as that of humanity at large. Hell, even if you're divorced, if your kids still spend any amount of time with her, ensure that they do something nice for their Mother. I don't care what type of words you use to describe her the rest of the year, it takes very little effort to be an actual human being instead of an "ex" for such a short time. Whether she appreciates it or not is irrelevant.
Just be a better human being.
It reflects well on your own Mother and that, above all else, is what today is about, right?
Alright, I've got flowers to get and a couple cemetaries to visit. If your Mom is here, make sure she knows how much she means to you.
If she's not, think back on how she made you who you are.
And thank her.
I love you El.
Peace
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