Pink Heals part deux

I'm currently sitting between a petite (thank God) woman and a not-so-petite man who has firmly staked out his territory here in scenic row 10.  

Part of the joy of traveling standby.  

I'm on my way to Orlando, FL.  No, not to see the richest mouse on the planet, but to start the final portion of my Pink Heals Tour of the season.  That's how I found myself between these two.  

My original plan was to fly down tomorrow, but as the pirate started checking flights this morning, she saw there was no availability tomorrow. 

Zero, zip, zilch, nada, bupkis. 

All day. 

There was, however, this flight. With enough room (well, more or less) for me. 

OK, back after that brief timeout. Flight attendants get pretty cranky when you don't "power down your personal electronic device" when you're supposed to. 

So, yeah, my plans (if you can call them that) got altered (you've met me, right?) and I had to pack and get to the airport in pretty short order. 

A few words about the pirate here...

She. Rocks. 

She got me on the flight, drove me to the airport, came down to the gate with me and made sure I was, in fact, on the flight. She even offered to book a room for me in Orlando in case everyone else got delayed. 

Geez I kinda sound like a 12 year-old, don't I? 

What I'm trying to say here is she takes pretty great care of me and I probably don't tell her (or you people) that enough. 

Now then. 

On to random observations...

Thug up baby!  There's a story behind this, the people that need to know it, know it.  The ones that don't...

Moving on...

As I was sitting in the gate, minding my own business (not really) I noticed the family sitting very near me had British accents. 

So what, you might ask. 

We'll assume you asked, this will go much smoother. 

All I could think of was "So I Married An Axe Murderer" the Mike Meyers movie from back in the 90's and particularly the father (one of several characters played by Meyers) and his repeated taunts aimed at the size of his younger sons head. 

"Aye go cry yerself tah sleep in yer great, huge, pillah" 

"Head!"

"It's a virtual planetoid, it's got it's own weather system"

I'm sure they thought I was a bit odd as I giggled to myself. 

Meanwhile Girth Brooks seated next me is getting bigger by the moment, I swear to God. 

As I write this, the tv screen I front of me is showing some modern-day, police drama, headless horseman tripe. Apparently Chicago Fire ran through storylines faster than I thought they would. Speaking of which, they are supposedly shooting scenes in our town this fall. One of our neighbors stopped by to say she signed up online to be an extra or something. 

Sorry. No interest. Whatsoever.   

Oh good. Now he's got hiccups. And I'd regularly spasming into what little space my left side has been granted. Plus, I think he just far... Ahhhh... Errrrr... Ummm... Broke wind. I'm not sure but I felt the seat vibrate a little. Thank God I can't smell. 

Sorry but I'm trying to paint a picture here, you know?

Also? Randomly he shakes from his stupor and briefly lifts the shade to confirm, I'm only assuming here, that we ARE, in fact, still airborne and he hasn't slept through the landing. 

Truth here. I'm not going to shut off my personal electronic device when we land. I just discovered I can't save this little literary gem without a wifi connection and  I don't have one in flight. Nor is one available to me.  On top of that I'm chewing through battery life so... 

I'm setting this gown for the time being. 

Alright this can't wait. We're 40 minutes out from Orlando and he's awake. Big deal, right?  Here's the thing. He's looking at his copy of Sky Mall (which btw I didn't get. Captain, can you fix this?) and he's focusing on the fitness products. Really dude?  Stop the delusions, you're a big man. Embrace it. Be who you are. 

I know, I know, call me Mr. Kettle, ok? But c'mon!

OK, wrapping up... 

Got into Orlando around 5:45 eastern and met Dave at the airport. We got a ride from the wife of one of the Florida guys.  For an hour.  After she drove an hour down to pick us up.  And before she had to drive another 45 minutes to take us home.  She was awesome, to say the least.

Finally as I've finally settled in to my hotel room for the night, I met one of our newest drivers, Mike from the UK.  Seems as though he's heard of this wild ride and would like to try and bring it back home with him.  He's here for 18 days.  Should be a lot of fun.

Pink Heals!

Peace.