Wow. Just, wow

Don't get me wrong, my ego is every bit as healthy as the next guys, often times more so and occasionally bigger than it should be. But I REALLY don't like talking about myself. It makes me uncomfortable. I think, as much as anything it makes me feel like I'm arrogant and I really hate arrogant people. Self-confident? Good for you. To be perfectly honest I'm not usually the most self-confident person. And I think, because of that, I just don't like talking about myself.

But I'm pretty proud of something that happened yesterday and I thought "well, why not blog about it?" So. Here goes...

I'm active in an organization, Alliance Against Intoxicated Motorists (AAIM) and have been for quite sometime. Granted, at first my only involvement was helping the Blond Child's Mother with our fundraiser and things of that nature, but after she died in 2006, I became more actively involved to try and carry on what she was trying to do. AAIM was a huge help to us as we went to court in the aftermath of BC's crash and it was important to us (me) that we do whatever we could to help them. So I was asked to speak at Victim Impact Panels (VIP's) and I said "yes". And I was asked to sit on the Board of Directors and I said "yes". And over the last 4 years, whenever I've gotten the frantic, one-of-my-speakers-cancelled-at-the-last-minute phone calls asking if I could fill-in I've almost always said "yes". And I've never regretted it. Any of it.

And I don't mean any of that in a "hey look at how wonderful I am" kind of way, I mean that matter-of-factly. It's just how it is. Like I said, this stuff is important to me. It's important to me to try and do what I can to change behaviors. The people I speak to at VIP's are DUI offenders, sentenced to attend by the courts. And what they did was wrong. And they need to understand the consequences of their actions. And, by telling the story of the BC and her Mom, I try to affect that change. Before the offenders do it again and kill some innocent person.

And by the way, when someone says "if you change one person, it's worth it" I say Bullshit. If I change one person's behavior, I've wasted everyone's time. I want to change the behavior of EVERYBODY in the room.

So, let's move on to yesterday. AAIM's annual benefit luncheon was held yesterday. And it was lovely, as always. This was the 8th benefit I've attended and the folks that organize it really do a nice job with it. Raffles, silent auction, live auction, a nice meal and award presentations. Awards for Assistant State's Attorneys that have gone above and beyond prosecuting drunk drivers, an award for Victim Witness Advocates (named in honor of the Blond Child's Mother) that provide such an amazing service to victims of violent crimes, including DUI crashes and to the victim families, families that are often in such a grief induced haze, that they can't really comprehend the complexity of the court actions and rely on these amazing men and women to guide them through the court system. And an award, named in honor of Sheila Forsner, hit, along with her family, by a drunk driver in 1989. Sheila's infant son Alex was killed instantly and she was left a quadriplegic due to a traumatic brain injury. For the five post-crash years Sheila survived, she worked tirelessly for AAIM as a volunteer speaking to anyone and everyone she could, offenders, judges, high school students among others, trying to affect change. She died as a result of her injuries in February 1994. The award

http://www.aaim1.org/awards_forsner.asp

is presented annually "For Outstanding Volunteer Service".

This year, it was presented to me.

I had no clue. Not. One. Clue. As I sat at the table with my family (a family full of evil people, btw) listening to the presenter describe this years winner and thinking "Huh? Me?" and sealing the deal when I saw one of the administrative assistants looking at me and smiling. So as I stood at the podium, emotions welling up inside of me, I knew I had to be a smart-aleck cause I was on the verge of losing it, my first words were "I'd just like to say to my family at table 21 'you suck'" because they hid the books from me. The books that list, among other things the winners of the awards being presented this year. They hid them, of course, to maintain the surprise, but at the time I didn't know that. At the time I couldn't figure out why ALL the books on our table had disappeared. Couldn't understand why TBGFE! wouldn't answer me when I asked where they went. Couldn't understand why the Oldest Child (who got thrown under the bus by TBGFE!) couldn't produce one when asked. I'm afraid I wasn't as gracious as I should have been. I should send a note to Sheila's family to Thank them. Because it would crush me to find out I was insensitive to them. But I had to resort to my default smart-assedness to maintain some sense of composure.

I've pretty much rambled on longer than I should have. I'm cutting this off here, but let me just say, for the record, I've never been more proud of or more humbled by anything in my entire life. And to those that thought enough of what I've tried to do to decide I was somehow worthy of this award, from the bottom of my heart, Thank You.

we have seen the enemy... and he is us!!!

Sometimes all you can do is shake your head. Not too long ago, three weeks? Four weeks? people in my profession were up in arms over statements made by a committee member in a community close by where I work. Among other things, this person referred to us as "street people" and intimated that he thought if some medical emergency befell him, the very people sworn to protect him would stand idly by and let him suffer rather than help him. Personally, I found that thought to be more outrageous than any of his other inane comments. I mean, really? "Street people"??? C'mon!!!

And then I read about Spalding County in Georgia. And their Fire Department. And the asshat that decided to use the video camera feature on his cellphone to record video and audio on the scene of a fatal crash. And then, unbelievably, sent it to friends as a text message. It may not have gone viral, but it went far enough to get to the parents of the young woman killed in the crash.

Now, let's pause for a moment right here. I have, in fact, taken pictures at emergency scenes before. Many times over the years. At one time all of our ambulances were equipped with a Polaroid camera for the express purpose of taking pictures on the scene of car crashes. We would take the pictures and bring them in to the Emergency Department with our patients to try to show the trauma doctors the mechanism of the crash and assist them in determining potential injuries. We took the pictures and brought them with us and left them at the hospital.

I just used my cellphone to take pictures of a car crash last month. One that involved a 3 year-old patient with an impact on the door next to his car-seat. And I showed them to the doc from my cellphone. And I deleted them. While I was at the hospital. Within minutes of the doctor looking at them. And I didn't forward them to anybody else.

I've used my phone to take pictures of a house fire. While we were sitting in "staging" waiting for an assignment. And I took more after we were released. I've still got these pictures... it never occurred to me that anyone could misconstrue what the purpose of the photos was. I did show those photos to one of the guys that was there with me, and I emailed them to him. I also showed them to TBGFE! and explained to her what they were and what happened. And again, it NEVER occurred to me that it could be a problem.

I think I'd better delete them. Because now, I get it. After hearing about Spalding County. And after giving it thought from both perspectives, as a first responder as well as an aggrieved parent, I just don't want to take the chance that I'll be seen as some clueless dolt who's too busy snapping pictures to do the job I've sworn to do. The job that has caused me to miss numerous family holidays, birthdays, weddings, Little League games, football and basketball games, etc.

You name it, this job has caused me to miss it. But don't get me wrong, I've never regretted what I do, not for a minute.

I LOVE MY JOB.

And it pisses me off to no end that some people can't stop long enough to ask themselves "how would I feel?" about what they're about to do. And then NOT do whatever stupid thing they considered. It's not that hard folks. It's what we call - common courtesy - and it's apparently in short supply lately.

Sigh

It's all about adjusting, right?

I mean, really, if you think about it, that's what life is all about. The adjustments we must make and how well we do (or don't) make them.

I adapted to a life-altering change in May 2003 and again in August 2006. For what it's worth, I think I adjusted reasonably well to both. Both were rather sudden changes and the adjustments were both instant and gradual but, to date, have gone pretty ok for me.

I had another life-altering change take place last year, I just didn't know it at the time. I had no way of knowing how meeting the pirate was going to change my life at that time. Don't get me wrong, this one has been ALL positive, but it was life-changing none-the-less.

And now, another change. This one shouldn't be as drastic as the others, God I hope it isn't, LOL... The pirate goes back to sea today. Sure just for a couple of days to start (there's much involved in piracy) but there will be refreshers taking place for much of the remainder of the month. And THAT, my friends, is the big change. We've hung out together, almost at will, for the last 14 ish months. You kind of get used to being around someone after that long, you know?

So, now I need to get into some routines. The old "negative into a positive" thing. As soon as I walk away from this thing today, I'm heading to the local health club *shudders* and climb on the treadmill for awhile. I figure I'll be spending more regular time there for starters. Also, I'm planning on devoting more time here, @Yelp (I'm sitting on 3 reviews) and on other "side projects" that I've pushed aside the last few weeks. I was a wee bit motivated by something a friend said yesterday, a friend that knows nothing of side projects, and so I need to get back to that. As well as home-type projects *yuk* that I've pushed aside for, oh, I don't know, FOREVER.

I'm treating a dancing girl to dinner tonight. Probably tomorrow night too. Hmmm, I need a non RL name for her. Maybe Dr. McDancington? Not sure, that's kinda cumbersome... Oh well, I'll keep working on that one.

Lastly, let me just shout out to the interwebz a Very Happy 1st Birthday to one of the favorite little peoples of one of my favorite big peoples! Happy 1st to the Little Flower and I hope your little flowers give up some amazing smells! Much to love to you and yours LF! xoxoxo from the pirate and I!!!