Really Constantine? Really?

Ok, this is WAY off the beaten track of where this humble, little blog is intended. But, I really feel the need to vent about this and since this is my forum, I figure I'm entitled, no? Plus the whole anonymous aspect is appealing to me, since I don't want to take a chance that something snarky could be pulled and used for the forces of evil which, in this case, looks a lot like this guy...

He lives in an exclusive, GATED community for Crissakes! He seems to favor publicity regarding how "his" money is spent (a quick Google search was hugely informative) and has been in the news as recently as last year making an 11 year-old girl cry at a public meeting regarding the termination (due to "budget cuts") of several local librarians. Yes, you read that right, an 11 year-old girl.

Now, good old Constantine has apparently tired of picking on 11 year-old girls and has moved on to adults. Quite an evolutionary leap on his part. His most recent rant involves picking on firefighters in his village. At a recent meeting of the Citizens Financial Advisory Committee, "Connie" (pictured below)

was heard commenting about the budget "woes" affecting his impoverished little town, a town that doesn't collect property taxes from it's residents due to the revenue generated by a shopping mall. Our plucky, little, hero suggested firing one firefighter per month until the 28 members of the local FD would give in to contract concessions. He advocated destroying marriages, leaving children homeless and killing the family dog... No, I'm serious. He actually said all these things and more in an interview with the local ABC news affiliate, found here -

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=7692654

So, what else does he think about firefighters? He thinks of us (yeah, I'm one) as "street people" and that we only understand "civilized force". He believes that, should he personally suffer a medical emergency (heart attack, stroke, etc.) he would now receive no care from the men and women from his local Fire Department.

No word on what he thinks of fava beans and chianti...

My initial reaction to all this? Outrage. Like that of many co-workers, brother and sister firefighters all across the Midwest. Also like the spouses, friends and family members of firefighters. And, many other people that have no affiliation what-so-ever to firefighters, other than to recognize that we do a job that, on occasion, kills or severely injures one of us. Like, for example, Deputy Chief Mark Johnson of the Hinsdale Fire Department. The Chief died recently, a LODD (line of duty death) while working out in the exercise room of his firehouse. My second favorite human-being on the planet found this death to be funny, as evidenced by the giggles heard on an audio recording of the above mentioned meeting. So, yeah, I was outraged. But I soon realized this this asshat was assaulting my professionalism and that of every brother and sister firefighter everywhere. So when I saw the letter sent by the President of the A.F.F.I. (Associated Fire Fighters of Illinois) to the Village President of Oakbrook, Illinois -

http://www.affi-iaff.org/9-27-10_letter_to_John_Craig.pdf

I felt better about the way things would be handled. Don't get me wrong, if this letter falls on deaf ears and my union asks me to sit in on a meeting or two to make my voice heard in a respectful, professional manner (or a loud, boisterous one for that matter) I'll happily oblige. But I believe OUR professionalism will be shown to everyone, as his already has.

I wonder what he's doing for the holidays...

Sleep? Well, yeah. But...

I'm going to try and write this from work. Good thing I don't get paid for this, lol...

So went to bed late (for me. at work.) at around 11 PM. Up at midnight for a call.
Up at 1, just because.
Up at 2, same reason.
Up at 3, God knows why.
Up at 4, for a call. I'm up for keeps now. Coffee brewed, got my first cup by my side and half gone already. A mere 2.5 hours and I can head home. But in the mean-time, I'm pounding away here and listening to sports talk radio. I don't really know why either, cause this time of night seems to bring out more than it's fair share of knuckleheads. But I digress...

I don't really know why I don't sleep well, I really don't. I think loss has a lot to do with it, I used to think it had EVERY thing to do with it. But as I've stopped and looked back over my sleep patterns over the years, I'm not convinced. I think it has contributed, but it isn't the only reason.

The Blond Child's Mother couldn't sleep after the crash. Guilt prevented that. She felt guilt over being asleep instead of waiting up for her to come home. She felt guilt over not going shopping with her that night. And, knowing the crash occurred at 10 PM impeded her sleep. I got all that, it made sense to me.

And for the longest time after the Blond Child's Mother died, I had trouble sleeping.

Had trouble falling asleep.

Had trouble staying asleep.

Would get out of bed at 3, 4 or 5 AM and go downstairs to make coffee and watch tv cause I was tired of laying in bed, wide awake.

I figured that this was just the way it was. And I needed to get used to it.

But, after a few years, I started to think about it. And actually, I started to realize, that my crappy sleep patterns started before any of that stuff.

And I can't really pin it on anything.

I wish I could. Then, I could fix it. Well, maybe.

Loss? maybe a little. Old age? sure, why not. Too much food/drink too late at night? ok. You get the idea? I've got a smorgasbord of reasons from which to choose. And I think they've all got a little to do with it. But I don't know how to fix it.

So instead, I sit here drinking coffee (nectar of the gods), counting down the minutes (122) til I can go home.

Maybe I can sneak in a nap...

So, I've got that going for me...

Yikes.

In less than 3 weeks, it'll be a year since I've posted to this (or any other) blog.

Hmmmmm.

I'm not really sure what to make of that. It was often difficult to write here, as I mentioned then. So that may have been part of it. It was a new experience, a new "behavior" if you will, so maybe that was it. My life, as everyones' does, was evolving, so there's that.

I don't know that I have the answer. In all honesty, I even forgot HOW to find this little blog for a bit. Don't think THAT didn't make me feel stupid. Messed with my head pretty good.

As have a few things.

Here's an example...

Last year, towards the end of August, I met "someone". Let's call her ˆThe Pirateˆ. And as our relationship has grown over the last year, I came to realize she was, without question, my best friend.

I loved the Blond Child's Mother. With all my heart. Truly. But, and here's the thing that messed with my head, I never felt she and I were best friends. In fact, I do remember thinking it was a good thing we didn't work together, cause I thought that would've been a recipe for disaster.

Not so with The Pirate. I mean, we don't work together. Not even the same industry. Not even close. But we could. And be successful at it. I mean relationshipily... I won't presume to say we'd be a success at whatever we chose to do, but, well, you get what I mean.

So yeah, that kind of threw me off my literary game. Maybe because I didn't have much game to begin with. I don't know.

But I'm thinking I'm going to stick with this a little bit longer this time. I do enjoy it. And I've started up again with another little project, so, maybe between the two I can build a little momentum and see what happens.

And besides, The Pirate is gearing up to go back to sea and that should leave me with some idle time and Lord knows I've gotta find something to do instead of taking care of things around the house.

We'll see...