So how come nobody checked with me?

For the record, I do NOT approve of this.

Less than 48 hours ago, I was in my normal state of idiot-bliss (insert joke......here____) on so many things as per usual. And then, and if you know me you probably shouldn't say anything to anybody on account of it's not official yet, one of my BFF's in my RL, paycheck earning world ever called me and told me he was pensioning out.

Done.

The best partner I ever had.

Gone.

Thank God about 5 minutes into our conversation he got another phone call and had to take it, cause it would have gotten a little emotiony up in there. I had a feeling this was coming, he's been off with an injury for awhile now. But to hear him say those words... holy crap I wasn't ready for that.

And then, yesterday as I'm talking to my other BFF in my RL, paycheck earning world, he says to me, out of the blue -

"So, in September, when I retire..."

WHAT???

EXCUSE ME???

NO.

I'm sorry, that's not allowed. Maybe next September, when I'm eligible to join you , but not this September. I've worked more with these two individuals than anyone else, ever. 8 years with the one and 6 with the other. They have been with me through some of the darkest times of my life, on either side, keeping me vertical when that was the last thing I wanted to be (and that last line is why I HATE doing this at work, cause right now tears are streaming down both cheeks, sorry C) and helping me to retain what little sanity I have left. And they have been with me to help celebrate some of the brightest moments, the frosting on the cake of my life.

And now, as I sit here, I realize that as the people I work with prepare to recognize the guys that retired last year, 12 months from now, we will most likely be preparing to do the same for these two.

That ain't right.

I know they're entitled to this, but how come nobody checked to see if it was ok with me?

Who in the hell is gonna watch my back now? I mean, after all, it IS all about me, right? Right??? This. Blows.

And the funny thing is, the pirate and I have been talking about what we're going to do, what I want to be when I grow up. I know my time is coming, I mean, it's inevitable, but this? This just kind of hit me the wrong way.

Nothing, of course, is finalized yet. Won't be for some time yet. But for here, for now, to the Chick Magnet - you, my good friend are and always will be, the best, most fun, most aggravating, most challenging, most entertaining partner anyone in our chosen profession could ever hope to have.
And Lou - Should you, in fact, decide that September is it for you, you are the best boss I could ever hope for. You let me be me and still helped to make the me that I was (am) blend into someone that I'm pleased with. And that's NOT easy.

And I'm so glad neither of you will ever read this, lol, cause the three of us would just... well... you know...

It's 2:16, what did you get me?

Today, the Blond Child's Mother is supposed to be 53. Of course, if she were still here, I wouldn't have put it quite that way, lol. I suppose she'll let it slip this time, but I'll probably try to word it a little more tactfully next time. I took flowers and balloons down to the cemetery today, it just felt like the thing to do. And then, after that, I went shopping in her honor. Bought myself a new sweatshirt and a pair of sandals. Bought some squeaky tennis balls for the dogs today too.

She would have approved.

It's well documented that she and both of her girls could work their way around the mall. I guess I must have learned a thing or two from them. How could I not?

I had a couple people check up on me today, I told them I was fine. I am too. Really. Last year I think was more difficult than this year, probably because it was my first with the pirate. This year, I was more prepared for it. That makes a difference, I believe. If you can anticipate an event, you can kind of not be surprised by it or by the rush of feelings you may feel. The firsts are, of course, always difficult. But the seconds can be too and I learned that from some more experienced grievers before I got caught off-guard by them and so I was OK. Last year was a "first" for me. Even though it was the 4th birthday since she died, it was the first since the pirate and I had been together and I wasn't as aware of that as I should have been.

This year, I've been looking at today for a couple weeks or so. As a result, today has been a pretty smooth day for me. I checked on the middle child to see how she was doing. The pirate is at sea, so we've spoken today, texted back and forth a few times, but she's not expecting to be home til late tonight, so...

Anyway. I've been reminded about the time we took the oldest grandchild to Disney On Ice (Thanks for making me smile today C!) and how much fun we had. It was, I think 2005 at the United Center and we had sweet seats about four or five rows off the ice. He had a smile from ear-to-ear and so did his Nana. Me too. I've still got his picture on the fridge. The cheesy (no pun intended) picture frame (get it? Disney?? Mouse??? Cheesy????) fell apart a year or so ago, but the picture is still there. Him with a couple of the most famous mice America has ever produced.

So, all things considered, today has been a pretty good day. Weather was beautiful, especially for February in Northern Illinois, went to the cemetery, stopped in at the old hometown for a little business, a little shopping and hung out with the dogs.

Not a bad day at all.

Oh yeah, about the title... The BCM would invariably look at a digital clock at 2:16 and say

"Hey! It's my birthday! What did you get me?" And then flash one of her smiles.

Every so often, at 2:16, I'll get a text from the middle child that reads "Hey, It's my birthday..." and I always smile at the memory.